Let’s get real for a minute: most people don’t live intentionally. They just wake up and go with the flow — not realizing that even that “flow” is a system. It’s just not one they designed. That’s what I call an unintentional system.
You don’t have to try to be in one. You just have to stop trying. That’s how they form — through comfort, avoidance, and unchecked habits. And if you’re not careful, they will run your life.
The Silent Grip of Unintentional Systems
Every action you take, whether intentional or not, is contributing to a system. You’re spending time, energy, and money to maintain your current identity — whether that’s healthy or unhealthy, thriving or stagnant.
Let me give you an example: if you’re out of shape, you didn’t land there overnight. Maybe you’ve been eating fast food regularly. Maybe you rarely exercise. But you’ve also made room in your budget for that unhealthy lifestyle. You’re finding a way to live with it. That’s the system. And that system is producing the results you’re currently living in.
Here’s the hard truth: you are at peace with the things that are not working in your life — otherwise, you would’ve gone to war with them by now.
Taking Inventory of Discomfort
This year, during my personal Year of Discipline, I found myself at the bottom of my disappointment. And I realized I had been allowing certain things to take root in my life — not because I wanted them there, but because I hadn’t confronted them.
I had to take inventory of everything I wasn’t at peace with:
- The failing business that wasn’t hitting the mark
- The health goals that weren’t getting closer
- The habits that were holding me back
And once I stared them in the face, I saw the truth: I had been living in a system that I never consciously created — a system that was forming my life without my permission. But the thing is, I gave it permission by ignoring it.
If you don’t choose your system, your circumstances will choose one for you.
You Are at Peace With Something
It sounds harsh, but it’s real: if you’re living with it, you’re at peace with it.
If your breath stank and you keep skipping flossing… you’re at peace with it.
If you’re overweight and keep eating poorly… you’re at peace with it.
If your business is failing and you keep ignoring the numbers… yep, you’re at peace with that too.
Whatever you’re not willing to confront, you’ve made peace with. But the moment you stop accepting that version of life — that’s when you can start to shift.
The Exit Route: Intentional Systems
You don’t get out of an unintentional system with wishful thinking. You get out with discipline. You get out by creating a new structure — one that reflects who you are becoming, not who you’ve been.
Ask yourself:
- Who am I now?
- Who do I think I am?
- Who do I want to become?
Now ask the same questions about your environment:
- What am I tolerating?
- What do I think I’ve built?
- What am I actually living in?
The difference between your fantasy self and your reality is the gap where unintentional systems thrive.
Once you close that gap — once you design a life on purpose — the system starts working for you. And over time, that intentional system becomes your new autopilot.
Final Thoughts
You are not lazy, worthless, or permanently broken. But if you’re not seeing growth, it’s because your current system is rigged to maintain your current identity. And that identity may not match who you know you’re called to be.
So here’s the challenge: take inventory. Identify what you’re at peace with that you shouldn’t be. Then build a system that supports the life you actually want.
Because the truth is — you don’t just live in a system.
You are a system.
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