The other day, my daughter asked me a question that caught me off guard. She said, “If you could go back to any age, what would it be?” I told her I’d go back to 15. She followed up with, “Why?”
That answer came quickly, but the more I thought about it, the deeper the meaning got.
I said 15 because right around 16, I started to feel a sense of freedom. But more importantly, 15 feels like the point in my life where I could have taken things more seriously. Before the weight of adulthood. Before college. Before career choices, marriage, kids. Before all of that. By the time you hit those stages, in many ways, it’s too late to start over. Not because change is impossible, but because so many of your patterns are already formed.
But then I sat with that answer. What did I really mean by “too late”? What would I do differently if I could go back?
I’d eat better. I’d read more books. I’d go deep into one subject and master it, so I could fall in love with something real and build a life around it. I’d work out more. I’d aim to have the best body of my life. I’d build stronger habits. I’d do all the things that benefit the version of me I want to be.
Then it hit me. Why wouldn’t I just do all that now?
What exactly is stopping me from making those changes today? Why do I feel the need to rewind time to live a better life when the present moment is full of opportunities?
It was like a punch in the gut. I realized that I have the ability to be my best self at any time, and yet I often choose not to. I choose not to work out. I choose not to eat well. I choose not to master something. I choose not to be as intentional with my life as I know I could be.
And the truth is, most of us are doing the same thing. We’re not stuck. We’re just making choices that keep us comfortable and distracted. We desire a better life but ignore the actions that would actually give us one.
This is where the concept of intentional systems comes in.
We like to think we’re aware of our lives. But real awareness comes from asking three questions:
- Who am I?
- Who do I want to be?
- Who am I actually?
We often have a loose idea of who we are and who we’d like to become, but we rarely take the time to measure who we actually are. And without that measurement, we miss the changes that would help us build a life that reflects our true desires.
When you fail to measure, you live in an unintentional system. Life just happens to you. You’re on autopilot, responding to whatever’s in front of you. You do what’s required, not because it leads to anything meaningful, but because it’s part of the routine.
But once you become intentional, once you build a system around who you want to be and consistently check in with yourself, you start to take back control. You start living with direction. That is what an intentional system is all about.
And if that doesn’t convince you that we have more power than we think, I don’t know what will.
The truth is, there’s nothing stopping us, not really, from becoming who we’re meant to be. The only thing standing in the way is our willingness to face ourselves and commit to a life built on purpose.
So no, I don’t really need to go back to 15.
I just need to start choosing who I want to become, now.
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